document.write('\x3cmeta http-equiv=\x22x-dns-prefetch-control\x22 content=\x22off\x22/\x3e\x3col class=\x22tumblr_posts\x22\x3e\x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lykytbqUzW1qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22My Sunday night non-sequitur: red wine, Stewart Lee, desktop trebuchette (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eMy Sunday night non-sequitur: red wine, Stewart Lee, desktop trebuchette (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lykx545boN1qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22Is this kind of hat even legal? (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eIs this kind of hat even legal? (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyi8cxexv41qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22Killer breakfast, Valentine style (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eKiller breakfast, Valentine style (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyakv407uX1qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22Metro in the morning (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eMetro in the morning (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxs9ci3V6E1qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22What girl wants a pony when she has lightsaber storage hooks? (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eWhat girl wants a pony when she has lightsaber storage hooks? (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx9l7m7yAQ1qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22Southwark Skeleton Sunrise (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eSouthwark Skeleton Sunrise (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx8n47KYRR1qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22Holy Facebook Batman, my wine has a social media strategy  (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eHoly Facebook Batman, my wine has a social media strategy  (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx6kn1bRb61qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22\x26amp;#8220;Easy\x26amp;#8221; level origami, isn\x26amp;#8217;t. (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3e\x26#8220;Easy\x26#8221; level origami, isn\x26#8217;t. (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_text_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_title\x22\x3eOnce more unto the \x26pound;44.99 breach\x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_body\x22\x3e\x0a                    \x3cp\x3eI wouldn\x26#8217;t call myself a professional military man, but I\x26#8217;ve been hunting Russian terrorists from my couch\u00a0for\u00a0the\u00a0last\u00a0four\u00a0years.\u00a0\x3c/p\x3e\x0a\x0a\x3cp\x3eMy\u00a0first\u00a0deployment\u00a0was\u00a0on\u00a0a\u00a0three\u00a0seat\u00a0sofa\u00a0in\u00a0Melbourne from which I, green as grass, picked up the trail of a group of ne\x26#8217;er-do-wells and swore to bring them to justice. I followed the threat wherever it took me and\u00a0in\u00a02008\u00a0I\u00a0was\u00a0transferred\u00a0to\u00a0a\u00a0uncomfortable, two-seat futon lounge, at a secure\u00a0location\u00a0in\u00a0London.\u00a0\x3c/p\x3e\x0a\x0a\x3cp\x3eIt\u00a0was\u00a0war,\u00a0but\u00a0notwithstanding one horrible incident at a Russian airport,\u00a0those\u00a0were\u00a0happy\u00a0days.\u00a0Good hours were spent in the company of comrades, defusing bombs, calling in UAVs, camping on supply drops\u00a0and capturing Charlie.\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0a\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0aBut everything wanes in time and eventually, even I wasn\x26#8217;t without battlescars. \x3cbr/\x3e\x0aSporting two\u00a0thumbs\u00a0riddled\u00a0with\u00a0RSI\u00a0and\u00a0a\u00a0pair\u00a0of\u00a0index\u00a0fingers\u00a0calloused\u00a0beyond\u00a0repair, it was clear that my days of chasing terrorists were at an end, so I decided to settle down, adding a wife and two children to\u00a0my personal platoon.\u00a0\x3c/p\x3e\x0a\x0a\x3cp\x3eIt was the right decision and before long I was safely ensconced in a\u00a0leafy\u00a0North-London\u00a0suburb\u00a0for\u00a0a\u00a0quiet\u00a0life\u00a0of nappies, beer\u00a0and\u00a0telling\u00a0embellished\u00a0tales\u00a0of\u00a0my\u00a0exploits\u00a0to\u00a0anyone\u00a0who\u00a0would\u00a0listen.\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0a\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0aOr\u00a0so\u00a0I\u00a0thought.\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0a\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0aNot two nights ago, after putting the kids to bed\u00a0and installing my wife in front of something\u00a0involving\u00a0singing,\u00a0public\u00a0ridicule\u00a0and\u00a0Simon\u00a0Cowell,\u00a0I\u00a0heard\u00a0chatter\u00a0on\u00a0the\u00a0squawk\u00a0box\u00a0that\u00a0a\u00a0new\u00a0threat\u00a0was\u00a0rearing\u00a0its\u00a0head,\u00a0in\u00a0London\u00a0no\u00a0less.\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0a\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0aI\x26#8217;m not the soldier I once was; my joints are stiff, my reflexes are tired and my three-seater, terrorist-hunting sofa has been traded for a single-soldier,\u00a0rocking chair designed primarily\u00a0for breast feeding.\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0a\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0aBut\u00a0despite\u00a0these\u00a0handicaps,\u00a0I\x26#8217;m\u00a0vigilant, I\x26#8217;m\u00a0willing\u00a0and\u00a0I\u00a0have\u00a0the\u00a0\u00a344.99\u00a0that\u00a0Activision\u00a0will\u00a0charge\u00a0me\u00a0to\u00a0hunt\u00a0down\u00a0these\u00a0terrorist\u00a0dogs.\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0a\u00a0\x3cbr/\x3e\x0aThey might only be fictional terrorists, but I\x26#8217;m a very real, thirty-three year-old man with a disposable income and a comfortable chair. \x3c/p\x3e\x0a\x0a\x3cp\x3eI\x26#8217;m ready. \u00a0\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                \x3c/div\x3e\x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a            \x3cli class=\x22tumblr_post tumblr_photo_post\x22\x3e\x0a                \x3cimg src=\x22http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lraxllr0G81qzyekao1_400.jpg\x22 alt=\x22Ambitious, mother-nature-targeting  graffiti from the people of Liverpool (Taken with instagram)\x22 class=\x22tumblr_photo\x22/\x3e\x0a                \x0a                \x0a                    \x3cdiv class=\x22tumblr_caption\x22\x3e\x0a                        \x3cp\x3eAmbitious, mother-nature-targeting  graffiti from the people of Liverpool (Taken with \x3ca href=\x22http://instagr.am\x22 target=\x22_blank\x22\x3einstagram\x3c/a\x3e)\x3c/p\x3e\x0a                    \x3c/div\x3e\x0a                \x0a            \x3c/li\x3e\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a\x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a        \x0a\x0a                        \x0a    \x0a\x3c/ol\x3e');